Stage Fright

A question I've always come to ask myself is why the hell I'm so negative towards my abilities or generally myself! Reading trough my posts (something I never do) I've come to view myself in a different light guess that was why I started this hidden blog in the first place... Hidden so that no one would figure me out before I did! Let me share a small experience in primary that probably altered my life and continues to manifest itself in various aspects of my life.
The year not so long ago I'm a small or big public primary school. My best friend had decided to join drama well he wanted I just tagged along. And after the drafting or is it casting my buddy was given the full page character while I less than featured in the play (supporting cast)... Jealous me? noooo. By then I had no clue what the word meant!
So after some few days of practice (my few stage movements no words) we proceeded to the drama festivals...
The bottom line I got stage fright! I couldn't remember my positions let alone lines wtf wtf wtf wtf after that nonsense you can guess that my acting career went down the toilet...
The judges "advised" my teacher to take me off and despite my plea siting my stage fright as a reason for my poor show I was let off.
Never tried acting again!
So after that event I have found myself at does when it comes to when it counts usually I try to fight the fear but end up more afraid. Lost all outlook of my abilities and hence always turn out to be the tensed guy. Just because it happened once the ghosts don seem to die off!